Guy Spends $5K On Surgery For Dog Instead Of Wedding

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mattstaff
Nov 10, 2019 11:00 AM EST

This guy asked the people of Reddit whether or not he was in the wrong for dipping into his savings, and dropping $5K on a surgery for his dog without asking his partner about it first. Sounds like she went ballistic upon realizing that he didn't run his decision by her first. 

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  • 01
    Text - r/relationship_advice u/Unsurebigbig 99d JOIN My Fiancée isn't speaking to me after l used "our" money to help my dog. Not sure not to fix this? Relationships My dog (German Shepard) began acting strangely a few months ago. First couple vet visits didn't show anything until eventually we felt large lump under his fur which was later identified as a tumor. It was confirmed to be malignant and required surgery to remove completely. The vet I spoke to said it would likely cost over $5000 to
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  • 02
    Text - I paid for the surgery out of my own savings. This is important. My fiancée and I have separate finances and my savings are easily 5x what she had saved up. When she found out how much the surgery cost, she went ballistic that I paid for the surgery without asking her when we're planning a wedding. She says that she will have to downsize her wedding to compensate, and that my dog is already so old (10) the money "wouldn't go far." can't even comprehend how she could say that to me.
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  • 03
    Text - T honestly can't empathise with her here, which has caused a massive rift in a previously amazing relationship. My dog is my dog and he's a member of the family. I refuse to put a few thousand dollars over his well-being. My fiancee is acting as though I'm being selfish and that our wedding should come first, since we're starting family. She hasn't talked to me since other than to tell me to take out the garbage, clean the dishes, etc. If I try to engage conversation she will shut down or
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  • 04
    Text - So my question for people here is how am supposed to get her to talk to me and patch things up? I don't want to throwaway the relationship, but at the same time I feel this is something I cannot compromise on... t Share 6.7k 2.7k
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  • 05
    Text - Qifomentl 99d S 2 Awards I'm not going to say don't get married, but definitely don't get married until you've resolved this If you combine your finances after the wedding. how will she react if you have to spend more money on your dog (either this dog or a future dog)? This is probably worth considering couple's counseling about, since she's not speaking to you and you have very different priorities. Sometimes people stay in long term relationships just because they've been in them so lo
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  • 06
    Text - FlamingoPants42 99d S 2 Awards Clearly you have different values than your girlfriend, and I think that's worth thinking about before you marry her.
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  • 07
    Text - usernamealready-tkn 99d I'm confused as to how the dogs tumor and procedure was never discussed seeing as you live together? Why was this never brought up?
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  • 08
    Text - justjaythings 99d Didn't you talk about your finances before? Maybe that's a bit european, but we wouldn't even think about "yours" or "mine". And absolutely not for a dog. Get your rules about finances clear. And to be honest: I couldn't go with a person who uses ignoring as a punishment. You want this?
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  • 09
    Text - upbeatcrazyperson 99d Hopefully, this is a "You should have discussed it with me first since we are going to be building our lives together issue," but she should now EVEN IF YOU HAD you most likely would have still gone through with it, so it's kind of a moot point that the outcome STILL would have been the same. She says that she will have to downsize HER wedding to compensate, and that my dog is already so old (10) the money "wouldn't go far." That HER kind of gets me, but I would tell
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  • 10
    Text - missile 99d Honestly, I'm not a huge dog person. I don't really consider dogs "members of the family". But if my wife had a dog, l'd absolutely rather spend money treating it than on a wedding. A wedding lasts one day, a dog will love you for its lifetime.
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  • 11
    Text - rubberdubberducky 99d I'm sympathetic, some dogs are genuinely part of the family, loyal companions, and deserve your loyalty in return. I understand why you spent the money to save him. That said... you and your fiancé are a team now. You made a major financial decision without her, and she has every right to feel hurt and dismissed. It may be your money, but it's also theoretically the households money, if you two are genuinely joining together as a family.
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  • 12
    Text - OOLisa00 99d From her reaction this is going to be the pattern of every fight you have in the future. Silent treatment until you apologize. Something to think about.
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  • 13
    Text - sedateme365 99d I can't imagine anyone caring more about the size of a wedding than their dogs life. This girl sounds really really shallow and cold hearted. Yuck
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